Babytown

ABOVE: INVITATION TO A DIAPERS PARTY WE ARE HOSTING
WITH THE BOMMARITOS FOR THE STATLERS

Our friends Allie & Ben are expecting Baby Girl #2 in March! If Audrey is any indication of what this baby is going to be like, she is going to be so much fun! Every time I am around her & Allie, it makes me really excited to be a mom.

I feel like babies are everywhere right now. Our friends Scott & Kristi just found out they are having a boy, we hung out with my cousin and their baby last Monday, and baby showers- baby products- baby-readiness seem to come up in about every other conversation I have.

It's funny because Jason & I kind of have a standard answer that we give...the scripted "We are looking forward to having them someday, but we're not ready yet." That answer just comes tumbling out of my mouth every time, but I started realizing recently that I didn't really know if I felt totally in line with what I was saying anymore. I am heart-ready, but not head-ready, I guess.

I used to feel that I had to accomplish as much as I could before I got married, and build up all those parts of myself that were sure to be neglected or forgotten in the rush of married life if I didn't steel them up beforehand. I feel the same fear now at the crossroads of having children, even though I have realized the obvious reality that you do not stop growing and changing and becoming more the person you were meant to be just because you are looking out for someone else's needs too.

My friend, Sarah, who lives in Wichita, had a baby last May, and I met her for the first time over Christmas. Grace is, of course, completely adorable, and meeting her gave me that same longing to be a mom. Sarah said something that I had never heard anyone say when I asked her how she was liking parenthood: I really wish we had had her sooner.

That blew me away. As much as people love their kids and would never regret having them, it seems like the transition to parenthood would naturally make people more aware of missed opportunities and sacrifices they've made to become parents. Sarah said that having Grace has revealed so much to her about God, apparently, all the hard stuff is, by comparison, inconsequential.

footnote: disclaimer: point of clarification: this post does not mean I have a "baby bug" as some people like my husband like to tell everybody at parties while acting like they themselves have never had moments of the baby bug. I maintain, for the time being, that we're looking forward to having kids someday...